When 2008 comes...

The new year is about to begin and it's brought some ups and I have to say putting 07 behind me is going to be somewhat of a blessing. I am not entirely at ease with how I'm entering the new year but I'm sure that it will bring some resolutions to light that I have yet thought about. Witnessing a new year and being alive to draw precious breaths in my lungs is an incredibly exhilarating and I can't wait to see what's ahead of me.

-jaha Knight, poet

Is Being a Black Woman a Strength or a Weakness?

I was talking with a businessman on the phone today and I was inquiring about a service that they provide to a litany of other businesses. Of course the reason I called is because while doing my research I felt that this company was the best qualified to handle my business. During the course of our conversation I felt him tuning out and dismissing my qualifications and questions because he'd since went to the website and saw a set a chocolate faces peering at him with smiles and hope gleaming in our faces. I felt then that being black and being a woman was a weakness. Had he gone to the site and saw some other vision he may have been more apt to pay attention to what I had to say. As it were, he called Octavia and myself "sisters" and didn't mean it in the sister girl sense. Feeling more than a bit disrespected as I checked and corrected him, I wanted him to know that his inability to take me or our product seriously was an error on his part. This type of adversity only makes the black woman stronger. So, to the question, is it a strength or weakness to be a black woman? My answer is both a yes and a no....find out my reasoning on the show.

One of my top 3 confessions...

I have to say when I confessed on the show that I was molested, putting this out to the general public was a daunting experience. I think that as a sexual abuse victim so much of our ensuing sexual identity is wrapped up in the fact that we were abused. It's a hard thing to admit to yourself. I suppose that's also the reason that in the past I'd yo yo date and then go on a fasting diet of no relationships. This year of celibacy and abstaining from dating has been the most cathartic for me. I've stayed away from the issue of Crash Dating as it were and focused myself on more positive avenues. I'm growing more aware of myself and I'm listening to my inner voice of reason and common sense, which is something I think so many people should consider. Well, for more, you should tune into www.jacksonknightshow.com to find out about my musings.

xxxooo

jaha

How ya livin?

Cook-Clean-Teach-Plan-Always Plan-Sleep, 3 hours-Write-Blog-Design....and that was only last night. Am I living my best life? Maybe? Do I think it could be better? Definitely. This week we talk about the things that it'll take for both Octavia and I to live our best lives. I believe there's something to be said for positivity and the way you view your life, and I also believe there's something to be said for striving for more. Can we push ourselves into a place that would allow dissatisfied people to change the way they think and the way they strive towards more concentric goals? Join us as we discuss these issues on the Jackson Knight Show.

Driving Ms. Jaha

Ok, now I have a tad bit of narcolepsy...I don't do well driving long distances, which is why I always have someone go with me. I'm exhausted today. I drove TO Winnsboro yesterday and then back again. For absolutely No Purpose. When I got there, I was told, "Hey, you're too late, you might as well go back to Charleston". I was flabbergasted. Let me take you on a journey of my morning, shall I?

- Got up at 6am, after going to bed at 3am (because of course I had to watch "The Big Idea" with Donny Deutch, and I missed the 10pm episode) and I had to make lunch for my daughter.
- Got my daughter up and ready for school, and of course unless I pay for before-school care, she can't go until 8 am, so I fixed her breakfast and she got dressed. I dropped her off at 8am, promptly.
-I begin my drive to Winnsboro (and of course this is where I was SUPPOSED to be AT 8am). However, even the school I work at knows that I can not get there until I drop my daughter off at school so why in the world would the state dept require me to be on the other side of the earth at 8 am when I'm a single parent? So inconsiderate.

Now, I'm driving..and usually I make sure I go to the library and get a book on cd to keep me company on long drives because it gets me so involved, my brain stays active and I don't drop to sleep listening to good music while driving. However, I'd just worked until 9 pm on Wednesday night teaching a continuing education night class after having taught high school students for a full day. But, Thursday night I kinda went to bed as soon as my head could touch the pillow and I suffice it to say, I didn't get to go to the library. I couldn't go Tuesday because I had to take my daughter to gymnastics and on Mondays I am not going anywhere other than my house after I pick up my child. So now that I've built you a backwards time line you can easily understand why I didn't go to the libary, lol. Or are these all excuses? Because unlike most people I live VERY close to the library...but realistically my body wouldn't let me do it.

So back to Friday...I'm driving and I am encouraging myself to stay awake and singing with the music (I am def not a morning person) so right about now I'm disgusted with how happy I sound. I stopped off at the rest area to take a small nap because my body could not be fooled that it was evening or a time other than it was with the sun, so refreshed from being off duty for a night was shining so bright with joy. And why am I driving to Winnsboro anyway when there's a master teacher in Hanahan? Ugh. All these thoughts flash through my mind before sleep drizzles down until it is silent. I am in bliss, car still running, doors locked, in case some strange disturbed person walks up to my car acting crazy, I can drive away (yes I know, not really practical, but I've convinced myself that I can drive after just opening my eyes to a situation I won't understand bc I've been unconscious.) After about 10 minutes, the phone rings..yes I know it's inevitable. It's one of my friends and she says I just called her which I know isn't possible because I am not a phone person and she KNOWS I'd never call her this early. While we are talking I scrounge in my purse for some change so I can get something out of the snack machines at the rest area. So while she's warbling on and on about her impending engagement that night I'm braving the cold for a Snickers (the only chocolate I'd ever eat...well other than peanut M&Ms) and I get there the Snickers are $1.50! I'd rather go to the convenience store when I get gas...and THAT's saying something bc they are already outrageous with their prices...but you know, I've noticed that since gas is dang near $3/gallon, they are being much more generous with their grocery prices... I guess it all comes down to profit over greed...if their groceries were as high as the gas is becoming, I suppose that'd just be plain greedy.

Anywho, now that someone is keeping me company I can drive. I'm back on the road!! Ironically after about 15 minutes, she hangs up and I troll my cell for someone else to call that I know won't be rushing me off the phone bc they're at work...I call someone else and keep driving..got my gas and my candi and snacks and here I go again..After 1000 hours I finally get to Winnsboro and the guy I'm there to see is at lunch...lol I just can't win for losing..so I wait another 30 mins and when he gets there he tells me to go home...oh joy. Now Los from The Poetry Show is calling and asking if I'm going to perform tonight...um no, I'm tired..and I am still in Winnsboro. I got back home at 2pm. You don't even wanna know what I did when I got here...